What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 04:09
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
And i lived it daily.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Is it possible for the U.S. government to get rid of the constitution for national safety?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But, we were locked up after school.
All the time i was locked up.
Do all you people that took the "jab" feel lied to yet?
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Why did Obito, a supposed "bad person," do good things for Kakashi?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
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I think the readers, may guess!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Is it okay for my husband to help other ladies without telling me?
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She found it foreign!.
So, i spoilt her more .
What are 5 ways that can be done by the community to improve the public transport system?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
My life is so biszare .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Where can I get sure fixed matches on Instagram?
She loved him until the end.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
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We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
When she asked me how she looked .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Why do Muslims not get HIV/AIDS in spite of having 4 wives and multiple relationships?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I write beautiful poetry .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
So whats the point in blame.
He resisted the act ,that day.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Ive learnt so much.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Put me off passion for life!!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She married twice! .
(And it was in our own minds.)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
My family never makes their pension either.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Who then, do I blame.?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I said to her
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I couldn’t, believe it.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I could never make a relationship work though!
We were not on the streets..
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I was seconnd youngest,
Comes on , in middle age.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I will be 64.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I was 9 years of age.
But it wasn’t much.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
It was going to be , some day.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But ive been too sick for many years..
One cannot live in the past .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I was scared of men, in general
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I have no regrets .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Would this be the day?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Why did i forgive my father ?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I don,t even have a pension.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
This is soul school!.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She was in good health!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Im still living with it.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
We all went to grammer schools
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I was very sick at this time too.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He knew the spot.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
What did i know ?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She wouldn,t have been !
I waited trembling.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.